


It's Always been You

by garciasfluffypen



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:35:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25902928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garciasfluffypen/pseuds/garciasfluffypen
Summary: What if the events of 14x15-15x02 happened with Emily instead of Spencer?TW: Blood mention, gunshot mention, miscarriage mention.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 3
Kudos: 113





	It's Always been You

She couldn’t believe it.

She and Emily had been on their way to apprehend Casey, a feat that neither of them expected to be this hard. They had tracked him down after he had taken Judge Melissa Hamilton’s daughter and then a short while later, Melissa herself. Somehow, they had gotten themselves tangled up in this mess, and now there was a woman on the floor, most likely knocked out — JJ couldn’t see past where she was sitting. All she could see was Emily.

Emily. For years, even after she had been with Will, she had known that she wanted to be with Emily. She had always stolen little glances, flirted with her — and Emily had always flirted back. It was harmless, in the beginning, but then it evolved into something more than JJ had expected. She wasn’t sure what those feelings were, or why her stomach did flips every time she saw Emily walk into the office first thing in the morning. Which is probably why she threw herself into a relationship with Will LaMontague Jr. To avoid those feelings. But those feelings never went away. Even from the time she was with Will, and their timely breakup a few months prior ( _“I’m sorry, Jayje, I just can’t do this anymore. I want to be a part of Michael and Henry’s lifes but I just can’t be with you_.”) she still thought of Emily. But she was too late. 

Emily was with Mendozza now, or at least, she _thought_ she was. Did they put a label on it yet? She wasn’t sure. But either way, she was too late and she missed her shot to have the one woman she wanted in her life. And besides, she wasn’t even sure if Emily was into girls.

She probably wasn’t. 

“Agent…” 

Casey got close. Too close. “Jareau.” 

“Truth or dare?”

JJ swallowed. “Truth.”

“If I think you're lying or stretching the truth in the slightest, I'll kill her.” 

There was no way in _hell_ she was about to let that happen. 

“You ever shoot anybody before?” 

“Yes, I have.”

“You enjoy it?”

“No.”

The memories of all the cases where JJ had to shoot people flew back into the forefront of her mind, a moment of pause inevitable as they all replayed in her head. The ones she could save, the ones she couldn’t save… they were all there. Prominent. And they wouldn’t go away.

“LIAR!” Casey shot off his gun, causing both her and Emily to flinch.

“No, no, no. I'm not lying. Ok, I'm not lying. The people I shot I had no choice, but I did not enjoy it. I didn't. Ok, you asked, and I told the truth, ok. I told you the truth. So now it's my turn. Right?” JJ raised her eyebrows, looking at Casey with pure fear in her eyes. “That's how this game's played. We take turns. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

She let out a breath. “What's it gonna take for all of us to walk out of here alive, for this to end peacefully?”

“I ain't going back to prison. My turn. Truth or dare?” 

“Truth.”  
“I want you to say something you're afraid to say, that you'd never tell anybody. And you better make it good, 'cause if it's not, it's gonna be the last thing you ever say. What's it gonna be?”

JJ froze. What could she say that wouldn’t cost her and Emily’s lives? Her eyes darted around the room as she tried to think of what to say, going over multiple scenarios in her head as she did so. If she said the wrong thing, they would die. Emily would die. 

“There are only people I trust in this world—”

“Boring!” A gunshot echoed through the store, causing JJ’s anxiety to rise. “Next!”

“Um... My... My baby I lost, I, um... Mmm. I wanted to name her Maggie.”

“Wrong! Come on, you can do better than that. Last chance. Something you would never say aloud, not even to your partner here. Your deepest, darkest secret. Impress me or I kill her. Come on!”

JJ didn’t know what to say. She froze again, racking her brain for the right thing to say. She wasn’t going to let either of them walk out of this store without their lives. That’s when it hit her. She had to say something not even the best profiler in the world could have ever gotten out of her. Something she had promised to take to the grave. It was time Emily knew. 

“Em, um... Um... I've always loved you. And I was just too scared to say it before. And now things are just a bit too complicated to say it now.” She bought herself to look Emily in the eyes, letting some tears fall out of her own. “I'm sorry. But you should know.” 

“Hot damn. That's what I'm talking about. Now those are some last words right there. But not good enough to save your life.” 

Next thing she knew, Emily pulled a gun out of the holster on her shin and shot at Casey, leaving both of them in shock. The two of them stared at each other for a second before Emily made her way over to the blonde and used a piece of broken glass to cut off the tape that was holding her wrists together. Matt and the rest of the team broke through the back door at that very second, relief flooding on their faces as they saw both women alive. 

After that day, things were weird. Things were weird between them, and she hated it. She just wanted Emily back. She needed to talk to her, to make things right, but she wasn’t even able to talk to Emily before they got their next lead shortly after Rossi had his wedding. They finally got a trace on Everett Lynch, after they had found out his plan that he was going to break his daughter out of jail, and that JJ and Emily were the closest to what they presumed was going to be their escape route. Soon as the two of them got there, they realized that there was nobody there that could help them. They made the decision to split up, something that JJ was nervous about. Lynch was a dangerous narcissistic misogynist, and who knew what would happen if she found them alone. JJ made her way into the parking garage and down the ramp, trying to run as quietly as she could so her heels didn’t alert to her presence. She hid behind a corner before she poked her head around to see them, pulling her gun and going right towards the father-daughter duo.

“Everett Lynch, FBI! Stop! Drop your weapon and place your hands on your head. Now!”

“Ok! Hey! Take it easy. Gee, lady, there's no reason to gun down a daddy in front of his little girl.”

JJ wanted to scoff. 

“All right, kick it over. Kick it over!” Lynch kicked his gun over, leaving Grace standing there with her backpack. “All right, Grace, you, too. Come on. Drop your backpack and let me see your hands. Come on! Now! All right. Don't move.”

She eyed the gun to her right and reached down to grab it, angling her body just the right way for a bullet to just miss the kevlar of her vest and hit her right below the rib. Pain flew through her body as she was flown backwards, her world starting to fade in and out around her. She heard a car driving away and goddamnit her gun wasn’t close enough to her to grab it and shoot. That’s when the blood came out of her mouth and she rolled her head to the side, hoping and praying she wouldn’t choke on her own blood. The parking garage was going in and out around her and she couldn’t figure out how to move her hands to radio it in that she was hurt. 

“ _JJ, what’s your location?_ ”

Emily. Her voice fluttered through her ears and there were those jerks in her stomach again, but this time she wasn’t sure if they were because of the copious amounts of blood she was coughing up, or if it was because Emily was coming. At least, she thought she was coming. 

She was about to close her eyes when she heard Emily approach her, dropping to her knees beside her and covering her wound. A burst of pain shot through her side but she didn’t care. Emily was there, and Emily was going to save her. 

Hopefully.

—

She was hurting. She was in so much pain, she didn’t know what to do with herself. Slowly she opened her eyes and realized she was in the hospital. She was safe. She was alive. A groan escaped her lips as she tried to move her arm, knowing she wanted to adjust the bed so she was sitting up slightly. A nurse came in at that moment and helped her, and of course, went through all her vitals. When she was about to leave, JJ knew this was her moment to ask.

“Wait—”

“What is it, sweetheart?”

“Can you— Emily?”

“Of course.”

She didn’t have to wait that long before the brunette was in her room, standing in the door frame as she waited for JJ to notice she was there. A smile erupted on JJ’s face, albeit a bit of a pained one, as Emily walked over to her bed and pulled the chair that was against the wall next to it. The two just sat there and stared at each other for a moment before Emily took JJ’s hand, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles.

“Em.” JJ croaked. “You saved my life. Again. I'm glad you're here.”

“You're my best friend. Where else would I be?” Emily smiled lightly. “I should go and let you get some rest.”

“No. No, not yet.” Emily couldn’t leave. JJ didn’t want her to leave. “I've missed you.”

“Me, too.”

“It's my fault that things have been weird between the two of us. What I said, we need to talk about.”

Emily sighed. “No, we don't, and I shouldn't have let it drive a wedge between us.” 

“I needed to say something real, and that's what came out. And I'm so sorry. I didn't I never meant to do that to you. I was prepared to take that secret to the grave. Heh. But Now it's out. And I can't...lie to you and say I didn't mean it. I do love you. Heh. You were my first love. And I'll always love you.” 

Both girls stared at each other before Emily bent down to place a small kiss on JJ’s lips, doing her best not to hurt her. JJ took her hand and placed it on Emily’s cheek, almost in an effort to pull Emily closer. It had finally happened. It took eleven years for her to admit it, but it happened. Emily knew how she felt, and god only knew if she felt the same way. 

There was a pause as both girls stared into each other's eyes. “I love you too.” 

“You do?”

“I always have, JJ, from the moment I met you. I should have asked you out when I had the chance, and I blew it. Mostly because you were with Will, but…” 

JJ sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, Jayje. You would have never known if I didn’t tell you.” 

There was a small moment of silence. 

“You wanted to ask me out for eleven years but you never did?” 

Emily couldn’t help but laugh. “I mean, you did have two kids with Will, I thought I had lost my shot.”

“You’d never lose your shot with me, Emily. Never.” 


End file.
